To Tip or Not to Tip

There've been more than a few inquiries over the past couple of days, as we near the end of camp's first session, as to whether it's expected or even permissible for families to tip counselors and staff, or leave gifts for them, when they come to pick up campers to take them home. Our policy has long been that we ask parents to refrain from delivering tangible gifts, but why?

Our staff is incredibly devoted, and anyone who's ever worked as a camp counselor knows that the salaries are nothing compared to what other summer jobs can net you. Work a landscaping job for a few months, and you could pocket twice or three times what you can earn working at camp. Kabeyun is committed to ensuring that counselor salaries are well above the industry average - wages paid to our staff account for over a third of our annual budget, but still, it never seems like adequate compensation for the work that they do. Who am I to deny them an extra fifty bucks, a gift card to REI, or whatever would reflect how great a job they did this summer.

Being a camp counselor is demanding and all-consuming. They take one day off each week, and the other six days they are, practically speaking, never entirely "off-duty." They don't punch a time-clock, and they don't get paid by the hour. I recommend they never try to break down their summer earnings to an hourly wage - it's not always a pretty picture. From the moment they wake up in the cabin with the boys until they put them to bed at night, they are always in a position of significant responsibility, and in fact, even when they're sleeping they're in there with the boys, available for anything that arises in the middle of the night. And during those rare moments when they can slip away to our staff lounge and relax with their colleagues, if a situation arises, they respond immediately. Sound familiar? It's exactly what a parent does!

These men and women do an incredible, exhausting job all summer long, striving to make not just your son's, but every camper's experience the best possible. I'm thrilled when a family is so pleased with the work that they do that they feel compelled to recognize that effort, be it with a gift card, delicious food, or money. They've earned it, and then some! Here's the dilemma, though: by singling out one or two people who, for whatever reason, you believe have gone above and beyond for your son, you are potentially disappointing so many others who, over the course of the summer, have worked just as hard with just as much passion and diligence. For whatever reason, that counselor's name didn't make it in to a letter home, but they are just as deserving of your appreciation.

When I was in college, years ago, I was too late to land a job at Kabeyun and ended up working at another camp, very different from here, where tipping counselors was the norm. I worked hard, and I believe I did a good job, at times even a great job. On the last day of camp, one family handed me $20 with a handshake and thanked me for taking such great care of their son, and making his summer great. That felt amazing, right up until later in the day when I learned some of my co-counselors were the recipients of hundreds of dollars, compact discs (remember those?), food, candy, and more. What I was left with was a real concern as to whether I had actually done a good job at all. Could I have done more? Should I have worked harder? Did I cozy up to the wrong kids? In all likelihood, it was just the luck of the draw, but it left a sour taste in my mouth.

Here's the thing. A gift card gets spent, and forgotten. Twenty dollars, fifty dollars, five hundred dollars - they'll do something with it, but that money's got the same weight to it as money earned by other means. Tasty treats? We eat them, and by the time the next meal rolls around, it's just calories. A few thoughtful, well-considered words? That's something different. I keep every note I receive at the end of every summer, I read them now and again, and the impact of those words never lessen. Some I post on Kabeyun's website as testimonials, and many I forward on to the rest of the staff, so they can have the same warm feeling I get from reading them. I never get tired of how special it feels when a parent looks me in the eye and says a sincere "thank you," and takes the time to express what it means to them that we took such good care of the most precious thing in their lives, their child.

The work a camp counselor does has to be about the gratification of a job well done and getting to witness the joy of a spectacular summer experience on the face of their campers, because if it was about the money, they'd all be mowing lawns this summer. If you feel as though one or several of your son's counselors did an exceptional job, tell them so. Send a letter or a card, let them know that you recognize how meaningful the work they're doing is. It's a fantastic reminder that what we do here has real value - you can help them realize that, and it will stay with them for the rest of their lives, just as it has mine.